Is There a Problem?
by xSoulfirexCrookshanksx
Summary: Some of the stupidest arguments in Harry Potter!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Oh, sheesh, I'm really getting tired of this. This is the second of my stories that has been deleted... Within a month! Very annoying, but I changed it around so it hopefully won't get reported again. *sigh* I don't exactly care about the chapters though. I'll miss all your wonderful reviews you gave. Anywho, enjoy!**

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Harry smirked. "You died. I killed you!" he crowed at Voldemort.

The Dark Lord just sneered and said, "No, I was just feigning death."  
"I saw you die. You turned to dust," Harry shot back.

Voldemort inclined his head. "How am I standing here if I died?"

"You are most obviously a ghost," was Harry's reply.

"No I most certainly am not a ghost," Voldy hissed.

"Yes you are. See?" Harry threw a punch at Voldemort but his arm went right through his body.

"Do not do that!"

Harry laughed maliciously. "See? My hand went right through you."  
Voldemort was caught off guard. "That was just a simple, uh, dissolving charm."

"Yeah, yeah, sure. You sound so naïve," Harry said triumphantly.

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you see? Only a child would argue such a futile case."

"Are you calling me a child?"

"You. Are. Dead."

"No, I am not the one dead. You are," the evil wizard shot with finality.

Harry gaped. "_WHAT_?"

"Ha, _HA_!"

"I—I killed _you_!" Harry stammered, shocked.

"That spell backfired," Voldy explained, although he knew the boy wouldn't fall for it.

"Yeah, right. You're lying," Harry snorted disbelievingly.

"What's going on?" Hermione asked, stepping into the scene.

Harry turned to her. "Tell Voldemort he is dead," he demanded.

Hermione was confused but she said, "Voldemort, you died."

Voldemort was furious. "Tell Potter he died," he snapped.

Hermione turned to Harry. "Potter, you—Wait! Harry didn't die! You did!" she exclaimed, rounding on Voldy.

"Ha! See? Told you so!" Harry shouted at Voldemort.

Voldemort rolled his eyes. "Now you're the childish one."

Hermione stared, confused.

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**A/N Haha Idea Alert, if you reviewed my previous version of this story, you will be able to see exactly what you wrote. If you don't mind, could you put that review back out for the chapters you reviewed? There were quite a few that really made my day, and I'd really appreciate it. You guys are awesome, and please review if you liked this chapter.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Here's the next chapter! Hope you like it!**

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"I killed Sirius Black! I killed Sirius—!" Bellatrix broke of in astonishment.

Sirius appeared and frowned. "No you didn't."

She gaped at the very much alive man. "_What_? How did you get here?"

Sirius grinned mischievously. "I am your worst nightmare."

Bellatrix glared. "Oh, yeah right."

Sirius' eyes were serious. "Iam. You shall fear me."

Bellatrix scoffed. "You? And I am not afraid. You are a Black. I do not fear you Black's."

"Black, yourself."

"Smart aleck."

"Thank you."

"This is getting way out of hand," Bella furrowed her thin eyebrows. "I thought we were recording for a FanFic?"

Sirius nodded agreement. "Do you like lemon drops?"

Albus suddenly appeared. "That's my line!" he protested.

"May I borrow it for a moment?" Sirius asked politely.

Albus thought a moment, then said, "Very well, but return it when you have finished."

Sirius nodded. "You have my word."

"Thank you."

Bellatrix was lost. "Okay—y…"

"So?" Sirius asked again.

"What?"

Sirius sighed. "Do you like lemon drops?"

"What are bloody lemon drops?" Bella demanded.

"First, they're not bloody. Second, they're sour candies," Sirius explained patiently.

Bellatrix sniffed. "Well, then, I don't like them; I hate sour things."

"There's a surprise, seeing as you're always so sour," Sirius teased.

Bellatrix wasn't pleased. "I'm sweeter than you are," she countered.

"Not really."

"Yes, I am."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"No, you're not."

Albus broke in. "Alright, break it up, children. Oh, and Sirius?" he added. "Could I have my line back?"

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**A/N Please review and your name goes down there:**

**Thanks to 567random, RebeccaTwinTyler, ChristinaFay, and Giraffes4Ever for reviewing!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N I must say, this chapter was _very _fun to write... Hope you like it!**

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"I'm going to defeat the Dark Lord; no doubt it will be me," Harry said matter-of-fact.

Ron snorted. "Yeah, right. I've got more brainpower. You would only make him die… of laughter at your hideous scar!"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Die, yourself! He could bring you down by looking at you, the scaredy you are!"

"Humph! He didn't defeat you that say so many years ago for one reason: you were a baby! He wouldn't kill a baby! But now, he still couldn't kill you.

You're still a baby!" Ron spat.

Harry decided to play around. "I know you are."

"I meant you," Ron fumed.

"I know you meant yourself. You would not have said so if you hadn't," Harry grinned to himself.

"I meant YOU!" Ron shouted.

"You are so persistent; did you not hear me? I said I know you meant yourself," Harry sighed in mock pity.

"YOU KNOW I MEANT YOU!"

Harry could hardly hold in the laugh. "Oh, Ronald; you really shouldn't let your emotions do this to you."

"YOU ARE SUCH A GIT!" Ron exploded, his face beet red.

"Thank you Ron, but do stop yelling; it's hurting my ears."

"I WILL NOT STOP! YOU ARE JUST A—"

"_Muffliato_," Harry flicked his wand.

Ron was silent though his mouth kept moving furiously.

Harry grinned. "Much better. Now Ron, you know that your mouth will someday get you in trouble, right? I think that day has come."

Minerva walked in at that moment. "What's going on here, Potter?"

Harry glanced up innocently. "Professor, Ron was calling himself a baby, so I stopped him by using the _Muffliato_ charm."

Minerva frowned at the redhead. "He doesn't look to happy about that. Would you please remove the charm?"

Harry sighed exaggeratedly. "Very well. Finite Incantatem."

Ron was beyond infuriated. "YOU—YOU GIT!" he screeched.

"I'll use the spell again if you do not stop insulting yourself," Harry warned.

Minerva agreed. "Yes, Weasley, it's not nice to put yourself down."

Ron, irate, growled, "Fine, I'll leave then. Some friend you are, _Potter._ You're almost as bad as Malfoy!"

Draco paused a ways away. "Did someone say my name?"

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**A/N Please review!**

**Thank you Giraffes4Ever for reviewing!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Here's the next chapter! So I'm not exactly sure how often I'll update, so just bear with me. :) Enjoy!**

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Hermione had a radiant grin on her face. "Did you see him?" she asked.

Ginny nodded with wide eyes. "Yes, he looked sooo much better than last week."

"Yes, definitely. Did you see that his face when he looked at me? I think he actually smiled!" Hermione had a dreamy look on her face.

"Yeah right; even if he did smile, it was at me, not you," Ginny replied haughtily.

Hermione snorted. "No, it was obviously at me. You couldn't even see his face! You were too busy goggling at Harry's oh-so-attractive scar!"

"I was not!" Ginny objected hotly.

Hermione laughed. "Yes you were. I'm sure the entire class knew too when you let your potion boil over and you barely noticed!"

Ginny flushed with embarrassment. "Hey! I accidentally put too much burdock in it!"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Whatever. You were still goggling."

"Was not."

"Oh, but you were."

"You were goggling at _him!"_

"So?" Hermione growled. "I didn't ruin my potion my staring at him all through class."

"I wasn't goggling," Ginny sang with annoyance.

"You were."

"I wasn't."

"You were."

"I wasn't."

"I'm just saying the truth."

"Well, truth is, I wasn't goggling. You were at him. You have not right to complain."

"So you admit it," Hermione crowed triumphantly.

Ginny scowled. "Liar."

"I saw you."

"You were watching _him_," Ginny snarled, her temper running short.

All at once Severus appeared behind the two arguing girls. "Who was Miss Granger watching? I demand an answer!"

Hermione's heart sank. _Uh, oh…_

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**A/N Haha please review!**

**Thanks to RebeccaTwinTyler, Giraffes4Ever and 567random for reviewing!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N I was just being very random here. I had to put something that would make anyone (maybe even Severus) laugh, so I hope it worked. Enjoy!**

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"Tom, you have gone evil," Albus stated, though it was unneeded.

Voldemort scowled at the sky with indifference. "Well, _duh."_

"You are evil," Albus continued.

"Well, _duh." _Voldemort still looked bored.

Albus gazed at him curiously. "Are you going to return to the good side?"

"No, of course not; _duh."_

Albus shrugged. "Your choice. If you remain at the Dark side, you shall die."

**"**Well, _duh."_

**"**So you know Harry Potter will kill you?" the headmaster asked, slightly surprised.

Voldemort sighed in exasperation. "Well, _duh; _it says in the prophecy one of us would kill the other."

"I must say, I'm surprised," Albus almost smiled.

Confused, Voldy asked, "Why do you say that?"

Albus did smile this time. "And, there is another surprise. You said more than five words at once. And you didn't say _duh. _Congratulations,Tom."

Voldemort sniffed with derision. "Don't you know you're not supposed to praise a villain? It's a _duhub_."

"Duhub?"

The dark lord stared at Albus like he was stupid. "Duhub: Do You Have A Brain?"

Albus nodded. "Ah, I see."

_"Duh."_

Albus rolled his eyes. "You can stop now. You're not a modern teen."

"Well, _duh."_

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**A/N Modern Voldemort. Can you imagine? XD This is probably my favourite so far. The next chapter will be family competition though. Please review!**

**Thank you so much RebeccaTwinTyler and Giraffes4Ever for reviewing!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N So sorry it took me so long to update, but here you go! Hope you like it.**

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"We need more Dung bombs," Fred announced.

George tipped his head to the side. "Actually, the Fake wands are more important. Everyone loves those."

"Dung bombs are our bestseller though," Fred argued.

"Fake wands are more likely to sell, thus we need more of those first," George said.

Fred shrugged. "We only have enough Galleons for one of them, so we're getting Dung bombs."

"Fake wands."

"Dung bombs."

"How about half of each?" George tried to reason.

"Can't. Dung bombs."

"Fake wands."

"Dung bombs are the top of the shop; that is why we are out. _Dung_ _bombs_."

"Fake wands are more popular."

"Dung bombs."

"Why can't we agree on anything nowadays?" George asked suddenly.

Fred through a moment then shrugged. "I don't know. Why can't we?"

George grinned. "We just did."

Fred grinned right back at him. "You're right."

"Can we stop agreeing on everything now?" George said, a bit annoyed.

"Sure."

George sighed. "Here we go again. Let's get the Dung bombs."

"No, the fake wands."

"Dung bombs are much better."

"Fake wands are my favorite, and everyone else's too. We get those."

George suddenly realised something. "Why are we contradicting our earlier arguments?"

Harry appeared, looking confused. "That's what I was wondering…"

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**A/N Please review, it helps me update faster!**

**Thanks to RebeccaTwinTyler, 567random, Mugglebornsrule, and Dreaming on Cloud Nine for reviewing!**


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